What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Make Nazis afraid again!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Can you explain the difference between being a conservative Republican and a liberal Democrat? Can you provide some examples of their ideologies?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

How does an experienced gay/bi guy handle a bi-courius guy on his first time?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

What firsthand information do you have on prisoner-on-prisoner sexual abuse/rape?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Can you tell me something about yourself?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What do men find attractive in an older woman?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

What do you think of the Black history lessons in the PBS documentary about jazz pianist-singer Hazel Scott?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What makes you feel guilty the most?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Who is the greatest light welterweight boxer of all time?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What is the best sex you have ever had (in detail)?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Are there any nude pictures of women with big tits?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.